Stephanie Kirk: Wishful

Hey blog,

I seriously suck so bad at writing in this blog, I have two others that I rock at writing in, but they're private. I guess I just write my little heart out in my other ones so I tend to neglect writing in this beaut.

Can I even call this blog a beaut? Let's be honest, this blog is a random, substance-lacking mess.

Haha well, I've been in bed all day today sick, and you know what that means?

If you said "Over thinking, watching vimeo, music hunting and dreaming of how I would love to live my life." YOU ARE CORRECT.

So here's what I've gotten out of todays thoughts.

-For a while now, I've wanted to find a big van, pile a bunch of people I can vibe with into it, road trip it to some coast, camp on the beaches, use the van as our make-shift hotel, surf, meet and hear different peoples stories, and just have the raddest time of our lives slumming around, exploring. I want to make crazy memories. I've decided I WILL make it happen, just watch. #SeniorTrip2k14?

-I want to go camping.

-I really don't enjoy school. I hate the system really. It tests our memory, not our knowledge. I don't learn, I memorize. How I've been taught for the past 6 years of my life is getting handed a book and told to fill in the blanks on papers, or take notes for a test coming up that I will completely forget in a couple of years, months, maybe even days after I turn in my paper. Like, come on.

Teach me by experience, get me involved, teach me something I will actually use in my life! I wish we had a wider range of classes available in high school. I guess thats one reason I'm excited for college. I can choose and major in things that actually apply to me, my talents and what I want to do in life. I'm sure my major will change plenty of times while I'm in college, but I know I won't be wasting my time on struggling with things I don't enjoy learning about.

-Bad things happen in life, so don't dwell on it. Things happen for a reason. Learn from it and become stronger. Life goes on. Go with the flow.

-Social media is great. But at the same time so terrible. Lately, I've been feeling the terrible part of it.

Teenagers are dumb, we're all competing with each other. Trying to impress, seem like we have cool, exciting lives. Comparing ourselves to each other. "She's so much prettier than me" "Boys love her" "They are so much funnier than me" "They just have it so much better than me" uuuuugh. It's seriously evil, it brings people down like crazy. And people say things they would never say in person on it. It seriously changes people. I've been comparing myself to other people like crazy, so that's why I'm disappearing for a while. I gotta focus on myself, not being a people pleaser. I didn't used to be like this. I used to not care at all, and I want to go back to not giving a rats bum about how other people think of me. I just want to like myself, thats all that matters to me.

Another thing is that it's so terribly addicting. I'm always on my phone, checking for notifications, seeing what other people are doing. I gotta put my phone down and focus on what really matters, real life and it's relationships with people. Anyone can be cool on social media if they really want to, but can be totally different in real life. It's crazy to me how people talk to me and act as though they're my best friend on twitter or insta but won't even look at me in real life to say hey to me in the hall. Like alright then?

I wish I lived in a previous generation that was simpler, and more real with each other. That would be so sick.

Anyway enough for my stupid thoughts.

Here's some videos I found,

Poler Instructional Video

DAZED x GRIMES

NYC to Iceland

The Bowenest of Islands.

You Might Find us There

The Making of "Hero"

Made in Iceland

Rocklands

Some of the videos are lengthy, but totally worth your time. Well, if you're into the things I am I guess.